he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
