i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
