I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
