You work out of a Hotel?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
