..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
