He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize