I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize