you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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