I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Are we still banned from the library?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
