You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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