Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
