I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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