Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Randomize