There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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