I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
