Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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