Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
