im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
