apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
