Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
