Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize