and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
