Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
