Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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