# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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