oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
