sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
