Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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