why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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