are you so shy because you have an std?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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