she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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