there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
