She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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