I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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