do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
