So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
