oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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