hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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