Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize