They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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