I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
