Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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