i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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