We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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