3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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