The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
