please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
