Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
