@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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