this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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