I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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