Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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