I wanna bring you to show and tell
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You may now shotgun with the bride
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
