erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
