Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize