Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
