i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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