I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize