belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
