I will die if light touches me.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
