i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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