That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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