No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
