If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
